New Year’s resolutions are common, but even more ubiquitous are jokes about the failure of those resolutions. Nevertheless, we all know that some changes are important, so how can you defy the stereotype and make a successful resolution this year? Help is here in the form of some common wisdom (SMART goals), uncommon research (from John Norcross) and some personal additions on the process of setting goals.
To set the stage, here are some insights from research on New Year’s resolutions by John Norcross and colleagues (found here).
First: Setting goals (or making resolutions) is important. This study found that 46% of those who made a resolution were successful with that change six months later, compared to only 4% of those who did not resolve.
Second: The first few weeks are critical. More than half of those who reported being unsuccessful at six months reported they were already unsuccessful in the first two weeks. Over 70% of those who made it to four weeks also made it to six months successfully.
So what can we offer you to help you make good resolutions and get started successfully?
Commonly helpful advice for setting effective goals is summarized in the SMART mnemonic: Goals should be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-limited.
Specific. Define the goal as much as possible, and reduce any ambiguity. The more specific the goal, the more guidance you have provided yourself.
Measurable. Make sure you know when your goal is accomplished, and enable yourself to track your progress along the way. An outsider should be able to easily judge whether or not the goal was achieved. The goal is not numbers for their own sake, but removing ambiguity over progress and completion (e.g. “20 push ups”, “Ten minutes”, “Actually walk outside”).
Achievable. Effective goals are both possible and reasonable. One good way to know if a goal meets these criteria is if you have been able to accomplish a similar goal in the past. If you have consistently set this goal or a similar one and not met it, consider breaking it down into smaller steps, or choosing a different goal that still works toward your ultimate aim. Goals are not ideals, they are concrete waypoints on the journey towards ideals. “Being healthy” is an ideal, “losing five pounds this month” is a goal.
Relevant. Sometimes we set goals that are admirable, but are not necessarily the best means toward the ends that we want. It is worth thinking about what might really be important to the changes that matter most to you. Is spending more solitary time in meditative prayer a good goal? Sounds like a good thing, but the answer depends on who you are, your current prayer life, and what you are aiming to change. If the growing that God is calling you towards concerns relationships with others, a different goal might be more relevant.
Time-limited. An effective goal has a specific time frame. This helps to combat procrastination, and also prepares room to make other goals. The goal that just drags on without an end date decreases motivation with time. Remember that the first two weeks are critical and getting started is often the hardest part. For this reason, I would urge you towards goals in which progress can be measured no less than weekly. Many common goals have some sort of daily component.
These are SMART goals. Odds are you might have run into the acronym before, and hopefully this was a good reminder. Some examples of SMART goals:
- “For the next three weeks, I will pray on my porch for ten minutes each night immediately after I put the kids to sleep.”
- “To assist in eating more healthily, I will go to the grocery store twice a week, on Tuesdays and Fridays, to buy fresh whole foods. I will evaluate my progress in two weeks.”
To address a possible objection: Sometimes I feel that I shouldn’t have to set such specific, behavioral goals for my relationship with God. I should want to do all that I need to in my relationship with Him. Maybe detailed goals seem to make it just a task I have to do. Or it feels too formal.
In my life, those impressions just get in the way of the determination to grow. I am one person, and my spiritual life does not have different rules for motivation and resolution than other areas of life. The strategies that spur my fallen humanity to attain other goals can also be used to serve my religious and spiritual growth.
Now I would like to extend the SMART mnemonic and add two points about the process of making goals, so SMART becomes SMARTER. (ahhh…you see what I did there?)
Empathize with yourself. Kicking yourself over past failures is the rockiest road to change, yet it remains a common habit. It is too easy to focus on what went wrong, or interrogate yourself to find out why you didn’t follow through the last time. Don’t do it. It’s a trap. Why, you ask? 1) Norcross’s resolution research found people who made a change had confidence in change and used positive thoughts as a tool for change, while those who did not change tended to use more self-blame. People are more likely to change when they are feeling supported and when they are confident in their ability to change, but judging highlights your flaws, increases criticism and undermines confidence. 2) Spending your mental energy rehashing the past, which you cannot change, rarely makes good on its seeming promise to yield useful information. Rather, it diverts your energy from actually making choices in the present, where you can change.
So what can you do?
- Accept that your past is imperfect, and human. Remember that God accepts you and your imperfect past with love.
- Acknowledge the difficulties in the task you have set. It is not trivial, or you would not bother to set goals for it.
- Remind yourself of times you have succeeded.
- Think about what you will enjoy about the coming change, rather than what you dislike about failing in the past.
- Remember that your worth and value do not depend on your success.
- When you struggle, treat yourself like your best friend would (with compassion and acceptance, not criticism). Getting back on the wagon is much easier with less guilt and more acceptance.
Recognize the Role of Relationships. Often we make goals as if there was no one around but us. However, our goals are rarely unaffected by others. The interaction may work against goal adherence: You may want to shift toward more healthy eating, but those around you are offering you all their leftover holiday sweets. Or your children want the time you would spend on a long-unfinished project. On the other hand, we often benefit from encouragement and the expectancy of others. Goals that are shared publicly with progress evaluated by another are more likely to be accomplished. This is the truth behind the success of WeightWatchers and goal setting sites like Stickk.com. Setting goals that involve another, such as praying daily with a spouse, create a shared commitment that may be more lasting.
So what can you do?
- Share your goals with others, if appropriate. Asking someone else to witness your progress at regular intervals can be particularly motivating.
- Involve those that might be affected, and those who can provide support. Troubleshoot potential obstacles ahead of time, in the planning process.
- Create some goals which are collaborative, so you each can support and encourage the other. Think running buddy, prayer partner, etc.
- Identify someone to be your support. Their role can be to remind you of the positives: what you have accomplished, your strengths, your worth in their eyes regardless of the outcome, your vision of the future.
Making intentional change is a part of life for all of us. I hope the dawn of the new year provides an opportunity reflect on the changes you wish to make. As you set goals for this change, I applaud you for taking the first step. May God bless your attempts to be SMARTER in the process this year, and if you’d like to share, we would love to hear some of your New Year’s resolutions for 2015.
