This weekend’s upcoming release of 50 Shades of Grey has inspired a flurry of Catholic bloggers to take to their keyboards to thoughtfully and truthfully educate Catholics (and any others willing to listen) about how the film’s message promotes the degradation and objectification of the human person through the glorification of sexual violence against women. Bishop Aquila wrote a nice piece explaining the Theology of the Body’s vision of authentic human love and sexuality. Joe Heschmeyer wrote an interesting essay for First Things looking at 50 Shades as a cultural push-back against the gender neutrality movement and as indicative of a sociocultural desire for authentic masculine virtue. Matt Fradd offered a video 50 Things You Should Know about 50 Shades of Grey . Teresa Tomeo wrote an article about how we have moved culturally into a “grey area” as evidenced by our inability to recognize the objective (black and white) truth. There have been other great articles written as well.
The moral life requires not only an education in and recognition of what is sinful, but it also necessitates cultivating love for what is good, true, and beautiful. Many of the essays above have diagnosed underlying cultural maladies that have lead to the celebration of 50 Shades . They have instructed and educated readers about the moral implications, consequences, and harms of the film. With readers hopefully convinced to avoid the misguided, counterfeit notion of love and sexuality that 50 Shades promotes we have created a hole–a space to fill. It seems now that it would do us well to direct our energies toward cultivating an appreciation for authentic, life-giving, self-sacrificing, fruitful, patient, kind, love.
So, we at PsychedCatholic would like to invited you to share your stories of experiencing or providing real, authentic, Christ-like love. We want to replace the 50 Shades story with stories that uplift us and inspire us to journey outside the confines of “self” toward others. These can be romantic or non-romantic stories. Invite friends and family to come to the PsychedCatholic webpage and share their stories in our comment box. Help us get these stories of pure, authentic love trending by hashtagging them #50ShadesofPink–pink because it is the combination of red (love) and white (purity).
I’ll go first!
I know a woman who found herself pregnant at the age of 21. She was unmarried and the father of her child was African American. Being pregnant out of wedlock with a black man’s child was not, needless to say, favorably looked upon by the Irish-Catholic (more in culture than practice), middle class of Scranton, Pennsylvania in 1982. This 21-year-old woman was kicked out of her home because of the situation in which she found herself. The biological father of the child pressured her to abort the baby. Despite being relatively alone in the world this mother made the brave and selfless choice to keep the child growing in her womb. This young woman got a waitress job to support herself and her newborn. She went back to college to complete her education in order to set herself up to be able to provide for her little family. She left the child’s biological father because he thought getting high was more important that being a dad–and she thought that she and her baby deserved more than that. With no car she walked all over town carrying that little child to and from meetings, daycare, and doctor’s appointments. She lived in humble, subsidized apartments without complaint or bitterness. That little child never knew just how much his mother sacrificed and poured herself out ensure that he had a good childhood. After long days at work and school that young mother would come home and spend hours going on nature walks, doing arts and crafts projects, and making costumes for the little boy. She gave of herself without counting the cost and without holding back.
That young woman was my mother– a strong, courageous, loving, humble (and very human. She is not a Hallmark greeting card. I promise!) woman. Her choice to keep me and to pour herself out so selflessly so that I might have the kind of life I have been privileged to experience speaks to me of what real love is.
Please share your stories of authentic love with us either here or on our Facebook wall! Place the hashtag #50ShadesofPink in your comment so that we can get a pile of stories trending that cultivate and excite our love for sacrificial, courageous, selfless love.
2 years later in Wilkes-Barre. Polish-Catholic. The rest is the same. We were lucky our moms had the inner strength to resist the “easy” way out that our families suggested.
This woman,my daughter, has continued growing in goodness and love, serving as a role model in so many ways to family and friends. She is truly a mentor to me in my striving to grow closer to my God.