Helping Your Anxious Child: Comments on an Article by Renee Jain

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Recently I came photo-1422728221357-57980993ea99across an article discussing how parents can help their anxious children. I thought article had some good recommendations and thoughts for parents of children with anxiety. I have included some excerpts from the article below and added my own thoughts and comments in red. If you would like to read the entire article 9 Things Every Parent with an Anxious Child Should Try by Renee Jain check out the link. Here is an excerpt from the article:

        As all the kids line up to go to school, your son, Timmy, turns to you and says, “I don’t want to take the bus. My stomach hurts. Please don’t make me go.” You cringe and think, Here we go again. What should be a simple morning routine explodes into a daunting challenge.

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The Beauty of Brokenness

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Plant_cracked_concrete2We are all broken.  We think of this as our biggest liability, but the reality is that the beauty in our brokenness is overwhelming.

Cancer.  Addiction.  Chronic pain.  Anxiety. Poor physical fitness.  Depression.  Job burnout.  No one I know wants experiences like these, but everyone I know has some.  Does that mean we are somehow diminished?

We come into the world as a small bundle of needs, completely dependent on our parents, unable to control even the movements of our limbs.  We are not angels – our will is frail and flawed.  Yet, as we grow, we are told to seize the day, hold the fort, take charge of our future.  We are fed with illusions of control and individuality, and we begin believe that sanity consists of the ability to shape our world to our own desires.  Our entertainments feature actors and athletes who are strong, beautiful, powerful.  Our cultural narratives promote constant self-improvement, rising above our humble beginnings, and eliminating our flaws.  We learn to fear our weaknesses as cracks in the armor that protects us from harm.

That’s all backwards. Read More →

A 1-Step Plan for the Unhappy Life (And How to Subvert It)

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sad_upsetOur culture is obsessed with happiness.  From a purely individual perspective, happiness seems to be the obvious and ultimate goal.  Quite often, the second highest goal is avoiding pain or sadness.  Pursue happiness, avoid pain: seems like common sense, right?  Too bad its a really poor prescription for actual living.

In fact, if you asked me to describe the shortest path to a truly unhappy life, I would tell you simply to avoid pain or discomfort at all costs. That’s it.  Thats your one-step, one sentence plan for the unhappy life.

There is a psychological term for this one step plan Read More →

How Mindfulness Can Enrich Advent

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mindfulness-imageAdvent is here.

Traditionally this is a season of waiting and preparation.  Waiting with Mary as the infant grows in her womb.  Preparing for the wonderful birth of the Christ child.

Yet sometimes all our many preparations preclude any real waiting.

There is so much to do.  My family’s schedule is full of Christmas gatherings.  Meals must be planned and made, babysitters contacted or the children prepared for travel.  Gifts are being imagined, and sales are pursued (quite vigorously at times).  Even planning for the way we intend to live Advent with the kids becomes an item on the to-do list.  Waiting can seem wasteful when there are so many preparations to be made.

It is easy to be so caught in the future, getting ready, that we miss the present. Read More →