Helping Your Anxious Child: Comments on an Article by Renee Jain

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Recently I came photo-1422728221357-57980993ea99across an article discussing how parents can help their anxious children. I thought article had some good recommendations and thoughts for parents of children with anxiety. I have included some excerpts from the article below and added my own thoughts and comments in red. If you would like to read the entire article 9 Things Every Parent with an Anxious Child Should Try by Renee Jain check out the link. Here is an excerpt from the article:

        As all the kids line up to go to school, your son, Timmy, turns to you and says, “I don’t want to take the bus. My stomach hurts. Please don’t make me go.” You cringe and think, Here we go again. What should be a simple morning routine explodes into a daunting challenge.

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Choosing a Therapist, Part 2: Making The Call

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photo by Clemson CC

photo by Clemson CC

Deciding to seek help is often the hardest part of actually beginning therapy.  In my last post, I addressed the mistaken stigma of seeking the help of a therapist, and doubts Catholics in particular might have about seeking therapy. Overcoming our own doubts, hesitations and preconceptions is hard enough.  After that, finding a therapist should be easy – just open the phone book, call someone and go.  Unfortunately, it is rarely that simple.  One aspect that often makes choosing a therapist more complicated is the intimacy of the work.  Going in, you know you are trusting someone to understand you, even the parts of yourself that you don’t usually share with others.  That can involve plenty of doubt and uncertainty.  Will the therapist really understand me?  Really get what is going on with me?  Really be able to help me?  For these reasons, those seeking help are often evaluating more than just credentials – they want to know if the therapist as a person is a good fit with them.

Because of my background, I am often asked to suggest a therapist or help in the process of finding one.  As often as not, the person who asks me is not the person going to therapy, but is someone who wants information to smooth the process for a friend or relative.   Regardless of who is asking, what I describe below is how I would approach the process.  There is no “right way” to choose a therapist, so my intent is to provide some information to help you ponder rather than laying out a perfect series of steps. Read More →

Choosing a Therapist, Part 1: Addressing the Fears

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depressed-hands-on-faceBy our nature as humans, we need others.  Giving and receiving help is as human as breathing.  God looked at Adam and said (essentially): “You’re gonna need some help.”  So He provided Adam with a helpmate.  Across our lifespan, we turn to others for help:  to our parents for nurturing, our teachers for education, our doctors for all our physical ills.  We turn to spouses and best friends to soothe us during the bruises of life, and we turn to our church community to revive our weary, broken, wayward souls.  We do not think twice about seeking help from these people, but there is one person from whom many people still hesitate to seek help:  a therapist (a.k.a psychologist, psychotherapist, or counselor). Read More →

Grace-fully Supporting a Friend with Mental Illness

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clasped_handsYou know someone with a mental disorder.  Even if you don’t know it yet.  Whether family, co-workers or acquaintances, we’ll call them “your friend.”  Since you are reading this, I know you are a caring and compassionate person who would like to understand and support your friend.

Mental illness makes many things very difficult, especially relationships with others.  I bet you have felt that with your friend.  Maybe they have been labeled with major depression, and find it hard to respond to your invitations or enjoy activities with you.  Maybe they have issues with anxiety and their worry is so intense that you find it difficult to relax with them.  Maybe they carry the label of bipolar disorder, and their manic energy and obsessive enthusiasm occasionally leaves you in the dust and overwhelmed.  Maybe they sometimes seem to lose touch with the ordinary world, and meaningful communication appears impossible.  But whatever the problem, you can feel their suffering, and you do not want to give up or walk away.

So how can you help someone with a mental illness?   Read More →

Invisible Illness: Caring for Those with Mental Disorder in the Church

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person-cross - Copy (2)Every one of our churches has individuals who struggle with mental disorder.  Which only makes sense, because Jesus came to heal the wounded, right?  Church should be a magnet for those who want healing.  Jesus is a Mighty Healer.  And he wants to use YOU and YOUR CHURCH to accomplish his healing work.

This message is not new.  Our churches are great at reaching out and caring for people, supporting and healing.  Too often, those with a mental illness are the exception.  This needs to change. Read More →

A 1-Step Plan for the Unhappy Life (And How to Subvert It)

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sad_upsetOur culture is obsessed with happiness.  From a purely individual perspective, happiness seems to be the obvious and ultimate goal.  Quite often, the second highest goal is avoiding pain or sadness.  Pursue happiness, avoid pain: seems like common sense, right?  Too bad its a really poor prescription for actual living.

In fact, if you asked me to describe the shortest path to a truly unhappy life, I would tell you simply to avoid pain or discomfort at all costs. That’s it.  Thats your one-step, one sentence plan for the unhappy life.

There is a psychological term for this one step plan Read More →